


If happy ever after did exist

by Ellana17



Series: Trying to call home [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-06-10 01:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6932173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellana17/pseuds/Ellana17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony could show himself quite stubborn at times but it was nothing compared to Steve. One of them would have to reach out at one point and Tony honestly did not know which one of them would have the guts to do it first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If happy ever after did exist

**Author's Note:**

> It occurred to me that after Steve left, Tony was quite literally heartbroken. I kinda love the Arc Reactor for some reason and I wanted to address that.
> 
> Thanks to all of you that left comments/kudos and who bookmarked the story, I was a bit overwhelmed by all those positive feedbacks.

Tony woke up with a start, clenching his chest and breathing heavily like every other nights for the past week. He could still feel Steve’s angry fists; he could still feel every single hit of the shield against his suit as Steve kept punching and punching, aiming all his rage straight at Tony.

Tony’s hand was still clenching his chest, where the Arc Reactor used to be. Granted, Tony did not need the device in order to live anymore but that did not mean he had forgotten all those times he had nearly got killed because of it. Some nights he still woke up with the impression of drowning… of dying, really. Obadiah’s betrayal and attempted murder had been a shock and Tony had almost lost his life that night. That left a mark.

Steve’s betrayal had been even worse than that.

Tony let out a groan and slowly got out of bed. It was still dark outside, the lights of the city were just enough for him to make his way out of the room. Funny how he had so quickly gotten used to having his very own personal night-light. Now he was constantly surrounded by darkness. He looked back and found his bed empty.

He missed Pepper. Tony knew she deserved better. She deserved… everything. She should not have to wait around for him to call or for him to come back home. She should not have to wait for him to stop being Iron Man; it was not fair to her.

As he made his way to the window, he thought back on all those promises he had made her, all those promises he had not been able to keep. What kind of man was he if he could not even make one of the most important persons in his life happy? At least he had stopped lying to himself, and to her. He had jumped back into being Iron Man on the first occasion, not because he had to but because he wanted to. Because he needed to. Because if he could not be Iron Man, what was left of him?

Tony rubbed his eyes before checking the clock. 4 a.m. That was still more sleep than he had been getting these past few days. However, it was still too early to go check on Rhodey. The thought of his friend made him smile, at least. He still had one friend left after all.

As though of their own accord, his eyes turned to the safe where he kept Cap’s letter. Tony had read and re-read it more times than he could count; enough times to know every single word of it, really. And yet he still did not understand how could have things turned that bad in so little time. They both had made mistakes, Tony was well aware of it. He, at least, had the decency to acknowledge his own mistakes. That was more than what could be said for Steve.

Steve always fought for what he thought was right. Tony could not blame him for it, he respected it and even admired the guy for it.

Steve’s letter was not the only thing he kept hidden in his safe. As soon as he had realized what the phone was intended for, he had locked it away. Not because he was afraid of the thing, of course not, but because it was currently the only way to find the remaining members of the team and the world could not afford them being arrested – again. Cap’s team had left Tony to deal with a few very angry senators and a furious Ross who did not appreciate being made a fool of. All of it was just a huge mess now and Tony was sick of it. He was left alone to deal with it. Natasha was not much help to him these days – Tony had no idea where she could even be – and Vision was a nice guy but he could not yet understand more complex human emotions like the feeling of having one’s heart ripped out of one’s chest.

Tony could show himself quite stubborn at times but it was nothing compared to Steve. One of them would have to reach out at one point and Tony honestly did not know which one of them would have the guts to do it first.

Tony rested his forehead against the window for a moment before jerking back suddenly and making his way to the wall where the safe was hidden. His burst of anger did not last though; he deflated as soon as he felt the damn phone in his hands. That was not the first time he had wanted to use it, he just had not get around to doing it yet. He was not sure he could ever do it. Not after everything they had been through, not after all the lies, fights and yelling. Something had broken between them. Maybe, Tony thought bitterly, there had been nothing there to begin with. How come they had fallen apart that easily? How come someone who barely knew them could have reached that deep inside them and used their worst experiences and memories against them? His relationship with Steve had never been idyllic, of course, but they had been friends. That much was true. There even had been times when Tony had thought- Well, he was not sure what he had thought at the time and it really did not matter now, did it? Steve had made his choice. They were supposed to be a team and Steve did not even trust him enough to tell him the truth about his own parents. That was what hurt the most.

Tony was feeling conflicted. But he knew one thing for sure, he could never hate the guy – as much as he tried to.

He sighed and scrolled through the phone to find the only number that had been saved in it. Tony did not stop to think twice about it and pressed the call button. The next few seconds were pure agony and he thought about hanging up, but then he heard it – Steve’s voice, coming through the phone.

“Tony?” he asked hesitantly. “Everything’s all right?”

Tony’s next words got stuck in his throat. Had he really thought this was a good idea? Talk about being a genius.

“Hi, Cap,” he finally managed.

“Are you okay? Everything’s all right?” he asked again and it took a few seconds to Tony to understand why Steve sounded so frantic.

“No imminent catastrophe, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Tony said casually, waving his hand around.

Tony barely caught Cap’s sigh of relief. “Good, that’s good. But- well, are _you_ okay?”

Oh, _now_ he cared about his well-being. “I’ve got a few pretty bad bruises as you can imagine,” Tony shot back. He might have been more bitter about it than he had originally thought. Maybe calling had been a mistake after all.

“Tony, I-”

“How’s everyone?” Tony cut in.

“They’re… good – considering.”

“I can imagine that,” Tony said. “It must be hard for them being away. I’ve been wondering where you disappeared to, you know. I was thinking abroad maybe, in one of those nice countries with no extradition treaty.”

“Tony…” Steve started.

“I won’t ask you where you are,” Tony told him. He knew Steve would not tell him anyway.

“Thank you. I meant what I said, you know,” Steve added after a moment of silence.

“What about? You said a lot of things recently, but maybe not as much as you should have.”

“When I said I was sorry about what had happened,” Steve cleared up.

“Oh,” Tony scoffed. “You mean what you _wrote_ because you couldn’t say it to my face.”

“Tony-”

“No. Just stop, okay? I didn’t call to argue with you anyway.”

“Why did you call, then?” Steve asked, sounded surprised.

“Frankly I don’t know. I didn’t even know I could do it until I picked up the phone. I guess I wanted to warn you. You kind of pissed off a lot of people here, the kind of people you usually want on your side when things go to shit. Ross is going to make your life a living hell, you realize that, right?”

“I only did what I thought was right,” Steve stated.

“I know that! God, you’re infuriating! What good your rousing speeches will do to you the day you end up in jail?”

“Well, I had hoped that if it ever came to that, you’d be there to bust me out.”

Tony snorted. “Unbelievable. You’re really something else, Rogers,” he said, shaking his head.

“Thanks for calling, Tony, I appreciate it.”

“Well, you could have called too. That phone thing kind of works both ways, you know.”

“Yeah,” Steve laughed. “I heard that one before. Maybe we should actually talk before rushing head first into that kind of situation next time,” Steve suggested.

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Tony pointed out. “Look,” he said after a bit. “I- I don’t know what time it is where you are now but I kind of have this conference thing I have to prepare for, I should go over my notes, I don’t want to screw it up.”

God, he was an idiot.

“I head what you did for all those kids at MIT, that was very generous of you, Tony.”

“Well, what wouldn’t we do for a clear conscience, right?”

“You don’t really believe that. I know I don’t,” Steve told him.

Tony smiled bitterly. “Bye, Steve,” he said at last.

“Bye, Tony.”

Tony waited a few more seconds before hanging up. When he did, he checked the tablet screen lying on the table in front of him. On the map, the blinking red dot pointing out Steve’s location was blinding, shining like a beacon in the darkness of the room.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was depressing. The final part might be lighter though, I don’t know, those two are just too stubborn sometimes.


End file.
